Law and Order: Salt Lake City (dun dun DUUUNNN)
DA: Your honor, I know that Salt Lake City is often veiwed as the squeeky clean center of the universe, but I have personal knowledge that this is not the case.
Exhibit A: The "home invasion/robbery" of the neighbor kiddie-corner to us (whom we highly suspect to be a drug dealer. People broke into his house demanding money, and when he didn't pony up, they shot him in the leg. The paramedics had to build a special ramp to get my 600 lb. neighbor out of his house. (This month)
Exhibit B: The undercover op at the duplex across the street that almost made me pee my pants when I saw a lot of undercover cops shouting and running around with guns. (2002)
Exhibit C: The two meth labs within stone's throw from my house. (few years ago)
Exhibit D: The pedophile within stone's throw from my house. (now! ick.)
Exhibit E: The murder of a little girl across the street from my daughter's elementary school the week she (my daughter) started kindergarten. (1998)
Exhibit F: The drive-by shooting and the swat team raid on the duplex across the street and 3 doors down. (2003, 2004)
Exhibit G: The day planner that was stolen out of my husband's car and found, 10 years LATER in the ceiling of a house across the street that was being remodeled by new neighbors. (returned last year)
Exhibit H: The weed wacker that was stolen out of our garage. (same year planner was stolen, by the same drug dealing kids that wanted to page their dealer from OUR phone!)
And last, but not least, the WASHER AND DRYER that were STOLEN OUT OF OUR BACKYARD LAST NIGHT.
Granted, they were broken and we were going to recycle them, but that was MY fifty bucks, dangit, and I want it back.
I rest my case.