Friday, March 28, 2008

So much like me.

I did this layout for a contest at Scrapstreet. The challenge was to look at the photos of the Paris Fashion show. I've always loved black red and white, so when I saw an outfit in those colors I knew I had to use it for inspiration.

So...browsing through my pictures I found this one of Isaac. In so many ways, he's just like me. He just feels things deeply. Last year for his birthday we got him a pet mouse, who, for some unknown reason, died after a month. He had named her "Beautiful." My poor boy was absolutely heartbroken. For months he'd tear up at the mention of her, and often drew pictures of her.

He's funny, because I know he gets belligerent to try to cover up his tender heart. He wants the approval of his brother SO much, and I don't think his brother realizes how his little corrections hurt Isaac. All Josh sees is that Isaac is constantly pushing his buttons.

I love this kid. My heart aches for this kid. I hope that someday he will be able to feel confident and sure of himself.

My sweet, tender-hearted boy.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008


So...the transmission in the NEWish van stopped working.

And yes, it needs a new one.

And yes, it will cost almost our entire tax return.


So, obviously: me--mood: bad.

Today I went to work...was scheduled to work 10-2. Took the bus...was practically the only person on it. Apparently everyone ELSE'S cars WORK.

Asked dh to pick me up from work. Called him about 1:30 and told him that he could pick me up later (after track) so I could get more hours in to help with the car.

Called him at 4:30...ask him what time the extended family is having the pictures taken (his side)---turns out they're meeting at FIVE THIRTY.

Now, since we only have one car, and that one car seats FIVE, and we are a family of SIX, dh has to take kids home before he can pick me up.

And he starts to tell me how he's going to get his hair cut at the neighbors FIRST.

Uh, NO.

I've been working all day, and wasn't photo ready to begin with. So I get terse with the old man and he says he'll come get me first.

I ask him what we're supposed to wear, and how we're going to get the entire family there. He says, "Jeans and some kind of colored shirt, but I can't remember the colors."

If I could have reached through the phone and strangled him right then and there, I would have.

So I, with steam pouring out of my ears, tell him that he needs to call his mom, see if they can take some of the kids, and to FIND OUT WHAT WE'RE WEARING.

He FINALLY picks me up at FIVE THIRTY. (Also known as the time that the entire family is already at the park.) Says boys went with his parents, we're wearing jeans and either blue or tan shirts, and that if we hurry he can still get his hair cut.

"I don't HAVE a tan shirt!" I say through clenched teeth. "What did you send the boys in?"

"Jeans!" he says defensively. "And they took some blue shirts with them."

"Did you even check to see if they were CLEAN????" I step away from a public scene. "And who wears BLUE SHIRTS WITH BLUE JEANS????"

I'm pretty far gone at this point.

So we run over to Mervyns (right by my work) and grab a shirt and jeans for Sadie (since, due to our broken washer, neither of us is sure she has any clean pairs at the moment), shirts and jeans for the boys, a shirt for him and a shirt for Bree. There is absolutely NOTHING for me. (And what we found was more brown than tan, but better than blue by a longshot.)

So, we get home. It is now SIX. Dh says not to worry, another brother can't get there until 6:30.

So, I get Sadie out of the tub and blow dry her hair. I madly wash and dry my hair and dig up an old brown polo to wear. It is now 10 to SEVEN.

We run to the car...I pack my makeup to do in the car. Dh takes wrong street on the way there. I'm so mad I can barely talk. I ask dh why he didn't just leave track EARLY if he knew we had to be there at five thirty. His response? "I forgot to set my alarm and lost track of time."

We get to the park and race to where the photographer is obviously impatiently waiting. Daylight is fading fast and they still have the immediate family pictures, our family and the group shot to do. I look at Isaac's too small shirt and the grass stain on his knee, and Josh's dirty jeans and his blue t-shirt (WHO WEARS BLUE WITH JEANS???) and shove the new clothes in their hands and tell them to RUN to the bathroom and change.

Photog takes sibling pics and calls my family.

And my sons are NOWHERE to be seen.

Apparently the bathroom is like HALF A MILE AWAY. And none of us know where it is.

So dh and I frantically search for sons as the sun sets.

Finally we see them in the distance, sauntering back. I'm yelling at them to RUN and Isaac is whining, "I CAN'T!!!"

We get back to photog who is looking like he wants us drawn and quartered. It is now almost EIGHT. Photog tells us that he already TOOK the group picture, and is going to PHOTOSHOP my family in the BACKGROUND.

I want to crawl under a log and die.

So, he lines us up in an awkward pose. DH has to hold Sadie up so she's about eye level with him.

And photog wants me to SMILE.

He took about 8 pictures. And I probably look homocidal in

I overhear dh's siblings saying that it's probably too late to make their dinner plans. I look around frantically for a hole to swallow me up.

They decide to meet at SIL's for pizza. Most of them can tell that I am NOT to be messed with at the moment and avoid me like the plague.

Until my MIL comes up and says, "You're coming over, aren't you?"

I, who want nothing more than to bury my face in a pillow and bawl, give a half-hearted shrug. "We haven't had dinner," I say weakly.

"Well, that's what we're doing!" she says. "Everyone's coming over...we'll take the boys..."

I motion for the boys to go with her and she thinks I'm mad at HER for not watching the boys close enough. So now SHE'S upset and muttering how she's sorry, she didn't realize she should have been watching them...yadda yadda yadda.

I try to put her at ease and tell her they probably CAME in dirty clothes and it had nothing to do with her. I can tell she's not buying it.

We get to car. I look at dh and tell him I am

He hands me the car keys. I go home and sulk like a baby while they go to SIL's house.

Part of me feels like a jerk for bailing. But part of me KNOWS I would have just made everyone around me uncomfortable. I'm not good at covering up my emotions...and I was just *so* embarrassed and frustrated and upset. Add the car stress to that and I'm a blubbering mess.

And that, my friends, is what I did during my SPRING BREAK.