Wednesday, January 21, 2009

You learn something new every day....

Today in pre-k I was teaching the children about koalas. (Who are NOT bears. Say bears around my boss and she will kill you. Slowly. With marshmallows.)

And we were talking about how koalas only live in one place (Australia) because they only eat one thing (euchalyptus) and how even though there are over 300 varieties of that plant, Koalas only eat 35 types...and some will only eat one or two.

So that led to a short discussion about endangered animals...and to explain endangered, I had to first explain "extinct."

So I say "Extinct is when there are no more of that animal on the Earth. The dinosaurs are extinct....they used to live on the earth but there aren't any here anymore."

At that, one little boy starts waving his arm madly in front of my face. I try to put him off by saying "Just a minute, Sam," but it's apparent he's going to blow.

"Ok, Sam, what is it?" I ask.

"Jesus KILLED all the dinosaurs!"

Who knew? All this time I thought it was climate change...turns out Jesus did it.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Your Tax Dollars at Work....

So, my oldest dd has been complaining for a while that her physics teacher is two cans short of a six pack. She says that he spouts random stuff and often pulls out his guitar to serenade his class with Bob Marley, the Beatles, and all the songs he wrote for his ex-wives before they were ex.

Here's one little dialouge she shared with me:

Teacher: Here velocity equals...Hey you! Spit out your gum! Gum isn't allowed in this class, you guys know that. It's chewy and stretchy and it gets stuck on EVERYTHING.

Did you know that once in my 3rd grade class that I was chewing gum and I coughed and it shot to the front of the room and stuck to the chalkboard? You know, I really didn't like my 3rd grade teacher. She was weird and mean and smells like fish.

You know, I've never really liked fish, either. Think about it. They swim in the water and the water's all gross and they drink this water and breathe the water...

In Japan, they eat raw fish. I think that's really gross because do you know how many toxins are in fish? Like salmonella and stuff...

You know, my uncle used to go ice-fishing, but he decided he didn't like it because we didn't eat his fish. It always reminds me of this 80's song about the cold....

At this point dd says that she tuned him out. And I don't think she ever found out what velocity equalled.

We went to talk to the school guidance counselor because dd failed this class last quarter. In our conversation, we found out that the class average was FIFTY-FOUR percent.

This is NOT Honors Physics or AP Physics. This is gen ed physics that every kid in that HS has to take as part of the graduation requirements. And this guy's class average is an F.

I asked if we could move her. The counselor said we should "talk to the teacher first."

And say what, exactly? "You stink and we want a new teacher? Physics does not equal fish and velocity does not equal the speed of your coughed out gum as it hits the chalkboard?" my DH, who is quite good at things such as math and physics has taken over re-teaching physics to my teen. It's stressfull sometimes, because they don't understand math on the same wavelength. But at least it's PHYSICS and not the Beatles.

Not that there's anything wrong with the Beatles, of course. But if I want my daughter listening to classic rock, I'll buy her a CD.

I don't expect it to come out of my taxes.