Tuesday, January 22, 2008

The Wonders of Photoshop: AKA Plastic Surgery for the Poor and Uninclined

Before
After


Ahhh Photoshop. How I love thee! What other wonder can magically make my love handles disappear and raise my bustline off of my knees with no need for anesthesia?

If you too have to make a family album and don't want your stomach rolls and old-lady boobs preserved for generations, the clone tool is your friend.

For the stomach rolls: select a lighter spot (preferably on the seemingly flatter part of the abdomen), alt-click and clone over the shadows of the love handles. Presto! A much flatter (albeit still slightly rotund) stomach.

For the 5-minute boob picker upper: use the selection tool (rectangular marquee works) to select those saggy, old lady mammaries. Copy and paste. Move copy of breasts to higher, perkier position. Using a spot on your new, flatter tummy, clone over the old boobs until they vanish into oblivion. Voila! No longer will your great, great grandchildren envision you as a female version of the Michelin Man! No longer is your poor bust support preserved for generations!

No need to thank me. Cash or check works just fine.

(I kid...I kid.)

7 comments:

Unknown said...

THANKYOU FOR POPPING TO VISIT ME AT MY LITTLE BLOG! & THANKS FOR YOUR SWEET COMMENT! I HAVE PHOTO SHOP I JUST CANT WORK IT OUT I THINK I NEED A DEGREE OF SOME KIND TO USE IT...I NEED TO USE THE FAT REMOVAL TOOL..LMAO..I DID HOWEVER TRY TO MAKE MY OWN "WATERMARK" BUT DIDNT GET VERY FAR! HOPE TO SEE YOU POPPING IN AGAIN FOR A VISIT.

Stampin' Meg said...

LOLOL-Since I have gotten photoShop -I have debated about fixing my face in my photos (bye bye crows feet) but figger that's not how I really am so I have left them-. But my teenagers acne I DO fix up with the wonderful healing brush.

Andrea Amu said...

ohhh girl... you are tooo much! This is great! Perhaps I should zap away my double chin that I've got goin' on!

Anonymous said...

Isn't it a girls best friend!! Just love that instant magic!!

Suzanne said...

girl you are too much. I soooo need to do this "tutorial!"

Fink said...

What a great way to doing altering! LOL Sure is a lot cheaper!

scrappermimi said...

LOL! Thanks for the tips, I need them all!