I can ride my bike with no handlebars...no handlebars....

Well, I could, until my badonkadonk got too big for the seat.

*****************************************************

I've been having a lot of fun lately altering photos. For those of you with Photoshop, there's a fun filter plug-in that's FREE (yes, FREE) called Virtual Photographer from optikVerve labs. Below are some photos that I played around with using some of their different filters:






The last one is my favorite...I have been thinking of pictures I can take this fall that I can use that filter on.

Speaking of filters, for some reason my artistic filters that came with PSE don't work right. (The drawing and painting ones.) Not sure if I messed them up with my plug ins or if they were already messed up. Anyone have a good suggestion for some download ones that do colored pencil, watercolor, etc.? Mine just do this weird green thing.

************************

In other news:

1)Bree goes to EFY next week...and I'm a little clueless as to when and where she's supposed to show up. I guess I should get that figured out.

2)Kids are taking dance this summer, and both of the boys are really interested in tap. The teacher is thrilled with them because they keep their knees bent and seem to have a knack for it. She even said she thinks that they'd do well in competition. Sometimes I think she's one of those teachers that tries to make you think your kids are the next hot thing so you'll keep them at the school. *wink*

She's already got a partner picked out for Josh for couple's competitions (cute little girl named Jen) and keeps telling me to save up now because they'll need tap shoes and jazz shoes (when they grow out of the ones they have), not to mention costumes and our monthly fee. The school rates are actually really reasonable, and she's giving me a HUGE break on the boys tuition, but it is still adding up like crazy. (Costumes for the 3 kids this year were 200 + and that's not counting the shoes.) The kids love it, so I'm happy, but BOY, did I not think this thing all the way through.

3)Speaking of dance, I have pictures of the kids that the studio did and they are dang cute. I'll have to photo them or scan them and post later.

4) Bree went to her first summer XC practice today. She's so funny, because I think she actually does enjoy it but she really doesn't WANT to enjoy it. She pouts and moans and complains, but says she misses running when she doesn't have practice. If we can somehow get an attitude adjustment, I think she'll find she can do much better than she's currently doing. I think she needs to get her "head in the game." (She'll kill me for that quote, since she attends THE East High School of "High School Musical" fame, and had to endure trying to go to school while they filmed the third one-- she despises EVERYTHING remotely related to it.)

5) Poor Ike woke up all stuffed up today with puffy eyes. All of my kids look like their dad's side of the family, except Ike, who looks so very much like my brother Nick. Poor kid also inherited Nick's ezcema, Becky's allergies, and my nearsightedness. I get ONE kid out of four that resembles me at all and he also inherits all the crap my side has. I guess I should be gratefull the rest take more after the Watson side.

That's it for today. I've got to try to get some laundry done before I head off to work later. Thanks for stopping by. :)

Am I Cool or WHAT?

I made this album for my dad for Christmas last year. Designed it all digitally using a kit I purchased and had the book made from Shutterfly. Just wanted to share. *insert grin here.* Digital isn't really my strong suit, and I still design like I'm using paper and forget the cool things you can do digi-wise, (and my drop shadows stink!!!) but I think it turned out o.k.

*****************

My marvelous mother, along with her sister and friend, have written 3 books. "Almost Sisters," "Three Tickets to Peoria," and the upcoming "Surprise Packages" compromise the "Company of Good Women" trilogy. My MOM won't even let me read the third book in advance. ANYWAY, despite the maternal snubb, I redesigned the site for their books. It still needs tweaking, because 1) I have an abnormally large computer monitor so things that look fine on my comp are not fine on my mom's, and 2) I need to upload pages with the registered version so there's not this bright blue WEB PAGE MAKER logo on the bottom of every page.

I'm feeling particularly proud of meself because I had no idea really how to do it and figured it out and made it in a day. (Hope it doesn't look like it!)

Ch-ch-check it out at www.virtualsisters.net.

************************

On a completely and totally unrelated note, I've got a WWYD for you:

First of all, my oldest DD is a GREAT kid. She's kind, respectful, modest, semi-responsible, and just an all around easy-going teenager.

And, she runs track.

Track practice often got her home after five. On Tuesdays, she often would have very little time between track and her church youth activities. (We call it "Young Women.") She runs track in a tank top (with a sports bra underneath, so no strappies showing,) and running shorts with bike shorts underneath, (so no cheekies showing.) One of her leaders also had a jacket she let Bree throw over the tank top.

Well, a couple of weeks ago, AFTER track season, (which means my daughter was normally dressed, in a henley and jeans,) some lady whom she didn't know came up to her and said,

"I guess someone else is working the street corner tonight."

She said this to MY daughter, who, on a 99 degree summer day, REFUSES to wear shorts that don't reach her knee. Her track shorts are the only exception, and, like I said, she wears bike shorts underneath to make sure they're modest.

Lady, who Bree says seemed to "sort of" realize how she sounded, (perhaps because of the dropped jaws of the other adults present,) goes on to say how Bree's dress was distracting the boys and not allowing them to pay attention.

Now: 1) If this lady, or anyone else for that matter, had a problem with Bree's appearance during track season, doesn't it make sense to mention it DURING track season, when she's wearing the outfit and NOT two weeks later when she's not?

2) Even if Bree was a "troubled" child who dressed inappropriately as a matter of course, there is NO situation in which that "lady's" comment was appropriate. She called my daughter a PROSTITUTE. My 15 y.o., won't-listen-to-the-"Shake it"-song or watch-R-movies, made-the-honor-roll daughter.

So, first of all, I REALLY want to know who this person is.

And second, I have no idea what I'll do when I find out.

What's the appropriate lesson? Forgive and forget? Or "Mom won't let anyone treat her children like crap?"

I'm still mad.

Random Ramblings on this 2nd of June...

1) I can't find my wallet. That, in itself, is a fairly common occurrance. But still, it gives me anxiety until it's found because I have all these mental images of someone cleaning out what's left in my checking account by going hog wild at McDonalds. I really need to pay attention to where I put things....

2) DD is going to Raging Waters today for school (my tax dollars at work!). She tried to leave for school using her swimming suit as a top--(it's a tankini.) I may be the most unhip mom to a teenage girl in the world, and I realize she will be wearing said top AT Raging Waters in full view of all the same boys she would have seen at school, but there was something just not. right. about wearing it TO school...even though she'd be leaving for the water park around 10. Was I right? Wrong? Discuss.

3) I have GOT to stop staying up so late.

4) Tonight is the kiddo's first big dance recital. I'm nervous for them and excited for them at the same time. I'm worried about Ike in particular, because, even though he's learned a lot REALLY FAST (they've had 2 months to learn what the other kids have been working on since January,) I can tell he's still hestitant and unsure about where he's supposed to be for some of the songs. Add to that the fact that the teacher hadn't even GOTTEN to practicing the last two songs until last week and I'm a nervous wreck. Plus, Sadie hasn't ever performed this stuff before and at the last practice she looked so DONE with it all. LOL! Crossing my fingers that it goes of with nary a hitch.

5) One of my dear friends and former teaching partners gave her notice and will not be returning to teach next year. This makes me SO sad...she is really the only person there who made an effort to be my friend on a personal level. (I love all the ladies there, but I always have a hard time *fitting* into established groups. I seem to linger on the outside fringe.) Janice just....made me feel like she liked ME because she wanted to, not just because she worked with me. I will really miss her.

6) ACKK! I have a new mini project and I'm not sure how to start. At church, I'm the primary president (which means I'm in charge of Sunday School for the children under 12.) A few weeks ago, the father of two of the children committed suicide. (He'd been in and out of jail, and had problems with drugs.) I always have my camera at our activities, and had snapped a few of this dad at the last one where he wanted to come along. After the activity, I had posted a collage on the bulletin board that included one of those pictures. Yesterday, his sweet son (10 years old and very quiet) pulled me up to the bulletin board, pointed to the picture of his dad, and asked if he could have it when I was done. I told him I'd make him a big one (this one was just wallet size as part of the collage.) Then his younger sister asked if I had one of her and her dad too. Turns out that this family really doesn't have any family pictures at all.

Anyway, I went home to see what I have. I'd love to do a little album for them since I don't think they have pictures at all...I don't think they even have school pictures. But I'm not sure what to include or how to go about it, since it would be just pictures and no journaling. Unfortunately, the only pictures I have of the daughter and her dad have her talking to him, with her back to the camera. It literally breaks my heart.

I guess that's it for this bright sunny day in which my daughter is NOT wearing a tankini top to school. Thanks for stopping by! :)

Life in da ghettooooo...

Law and Order: Salt Lake City (dun dun DUUUNNN)

DA: Your honor, I know that Salt Lake City is often veiwed as the squeeky clean center of the universe, but I have personal knowledge that this is not the case.

Exhibit A: The "home invasion/robbery" of the neighbor kiddie-corner to us (whom we highly suspect to be a drug dealer. People broke into his house demanding money, and when he didn't pony up, they shot him in the leg. The paramedics had to build a special ramp to get my 600 lb. neighbor out of his house. (This month)

Exhibit B: The undercover op at the duplex across the street that almost made me pee my pants when I saw a lot of undercover cops shouting and running around with guns. (2002)

Exhibit C: The two meth labs within stone's throw from my house. (few years ago)

Exhibit D: The pedophile within stone's throw from my house. (now! ick.)

Exhibit E: The murder of a little girl across the street from my daughter's elementary school the week she (my daughter) started kindergarten. (1998)

Exhibit F: The drive-by shooting and the swat team raid on the duplex across the street and 3 doors down. (2003, 2004)

Exhibit G: The day planner that was stolen out of my husband's car and found, 10 years LATER in the ceiling of a house across the street that was being remodeled by new neighbors. (returned last year)

Exhibit H: The weed wacker that was stolen out of our garage. (same year planner was stolen, by the same drug dealing kids that wanted to page their dealer from OUR phone!)

And last, but not least, the WASHER AND DRYER that were STOLEN OUT OF OUR BACKYARD LAST NIGHT.

Granted, they were broken and we were going to recycle them, but that was MY fifty bucks, dangit, and I want it back.

I rest my case.

On integrity and forgiveness and all that schtuff....

So...the latest scandal in the ever-shrinking scrap universe concerns a woman who stole over 100 THOUSAND DOLLARS in cash and merchandise from a scrapbook store she worked at.

She owes over a QUARTER MILLION DOLLARS in restitution to the store owner.

And is paying it back at one (yeah, one) hundred dollars a month.

Which means, that the scrapbook store owner would have to be cryogenically frozen and awoken in oh, 100+ years or so to see it. (Assuming this *lady's* estate continued with the token payments.)

Now, I'm all for making a new start and setting things to rights...but is there a line you shouldn't cross once you've made such a momentous mistake?

The reason I ask is that this woman started a blog.

And on this blog she lobbyied for attention. Big time. Showed her scraproom (brimming with supplies.) Started getting guest designer gigs. Sucking up to "names" in the industry.

Posted pictures of a Martha Stewart Punch that claimed cost so much on Ebay that she was embarrassed to quote the price. Pictures of a mountain of product she purchased at Target AFTER "dropping 50 dollars" at another location.

And her victim gets 100 dollars a month to repay her for practically bankrupting her. The store owner had to get a second mortgage on her home because of this fiasco.

To me, it seems the woman hasn't experienced remorse. That if her financial circumstances have changed since she was ordered to pay 100 a month, she should be paying more. And of her OWN volition. Not because the court ordered her to, but to make things right.

If that had happened, it wouldn't bother me that she's got a small scrapstore of her own in her house and that she seems to be spending 100's of dollars a month on new supplies. I wouldn't care if she appeared as a guest designer for a company.

But, working in a scrapbook store and seeing first-hand what it takes to stay in business, my heart goes out to this owner who sacrificed to keep hers alive while the woman who almost took it away flaunts her prosperity.

Not that it matters what I think, I suppose.

Someday, somehow, if the "perp" doesn't change her ways and her attitude, I fear she will reap what she has sown ten-fold.

I think it's happening already.

So much like me.

I did this layout for a contest at Scrapstreet. The challenge was to look at the photos of the Paris Fashion show. I've always loved black red and white, so when I saw an outfit in those colors I knew I had to use it for inspiration.

So...browsing through my pictures I found this one of Isaac. In so many ways, he's just like me. He just feels things deeply. Last year for his birthday we got him a pet mouse, who, for some unknown reason, died after a month. He had named her "Beautiful." My poor boy was absolutely heartbroken. For months he'd tear up at the mention of her, and often drew pictures of her.

He's funny, because I know he gets belligerent to try to cover up his tender heart. He wants the approval of his brother SO much, and I don't think his brother realizes how his little corrections hurt Isaac. All Josh sees is that Isaac is constantly pushing his buttons.

I love this kid. My heart aches for this kid. I hope that someday he will be able to feel confident and sure of himself.

My sweet, tender-hearted boy.

Grrrrr....arghhh!

So...the transmission in the NEWish van stopped working.

And yes, it needs a new one.

And yes, it will cost almost our entire tax return.

*******************************

So, obviously: me--mood: bad.

Today I went to work...was scheduled to work 10-2. Took the bus...was practically the only person on it. Apparently everyone ELSE'S cars WORK.

Asked dh to pick me up from work. Called him about 1:30 and told him that he could pick me up later (after track) so I could get more hours in to help with the car.

Called him at 4:30...ask him what time the extended family is having the pictures taken (his side)---turns out they're meeting at FIVE THIRTY.

Now, since we only have one car, and that one car seats FIVE, and we are a family of SIX, dh has to take kids home before he can pick me up.

And he starts to tell me how he's going to get his hair cut at the neighbors FIRST.

Uh, NO.

I've been working all day, and wasn't photo ready to begin with. So I get terse with the old man and he says he'll come get me first.

I ask him what we're supposed to wear, and how we're going to get the entire family there. He says, "Jeans and some kind of colored shirt, but I can't remember the colors."

If I could have reached through the phone and strangled him right then and there, I would have.

So I, with steam pouring out of my ears, tell him that he needs to call his mom, see if they can take some of the kids, and to FIND OUT WHAT WE'RE WEARING.

He FINALLY picks me up at FIVE THIRTY. (Also known as the time that the entire family is already at the park.) Says boys went with his parents, we're wearing jeans and either blue or tan shirts, and that if we hurry he can still get his hair cut.

"I don't HAVE a tan shirt!" I say through clenched teeth. "What did you send the boys in?"

"Jeans!" he says defensively. "And they took some blue shirts with them."

"Did you even check to see if they were CLEAN????" I say...one step away from a public scene. "And who wears BLUE SHIRTS WITH BLUE JEANS????"

I'm pretty far gone at this point.

So we run over to Mervyns (right by my work) and grab a shirt and jeans for Sadie (since, due to our broken washer, neither of us is sure she has any clean pairs at the moment), shirts and jeans for the boys, a shirt for him and a shirt for Bree. There is absolutely NOTHING for me. (And what we found was more brown than tan, but better than blue by a longshot.)

So, we get home. It is now SIX. Dh says not to worry, another brother can't get there until 6:30.

So, I get Sadie out of the tub and blow dry her hair. I madly wash and dry my hair and dig up an old brown polo to wear. It is now 10 to SEVEN.

We run to the car...I pack my makeup to do in the car. Dh takes wrong street on the way there. I'm so mad I can barely talk. I ask dh why he didn't just leave track EARLY if he knew we had to be there at five thirty. His response? "I forgot to set my alarm and lost track of time."

We get to the park and race to where the photographer is obviously impatiently waiting. Daylight is fading fast and they still have the immediate family pictures, our family and the group shot to do. I look at Isaac's too small shirt and the grass stain on his knee, and Josh's dirty jeans and his blue t-shirt (WHO WEARS BLUE WITH JEANS???) and shove the new clothes in their hands and tell them to RUN to the bathroom and change.

Photog takes sibling pics and calls my family.

And my sons are NOWHERE to be seen.

Apparently the bathroom is like HALF A MILE AWAY. And none of us know where it is.

So dh and I frantically search for sons as the sun sets.

Finally we see them in the distance, sauntering back. I'm yelling at them to RUN and Isaac is whining, "I CAN'T!!!"

We get back to photog who is looking like he wants us drawn and quartered. It is now almost EIGHT. Photog tells us that he already TOOK the group picture, and is going to PHOTOSHOP my family in the BACKGROUND.

I want to crawl under a log and die.

So, he lines us up in an awkward pose. DH has to hold Sadie up so she's about eye level with him.

And photog wants me to SMILE.

He took about 8 pictures. And I probably look homocidal in every.single.one.

I overhear dh's siblings saying that it's probably too late to make their dinner plans. I look around frantically for a hole to swallow me up.

They decide to meet at SIL's for pizza. Most of them can tell that I am NOT to be messed with at the moment and avoid me like the plague.

Until my MIL comes up and says, "You're coming over, aren't you?"

I, who want nothing more than to bury my face in a pillow and bawl, give a half-hearted shrug. "We haven't had dinner," I say weakly.

"Well, that's what we're doing!" she says. "Everyone's coming over...we'll take the boys..."

I motion for the boys to go with her and she thinks I'm mad at HER for not watching the boys close enough. So now SHE'S upset and muttering how she's sorry, she didn't realize she should have been watching them...yadda yadda yadda.

I try to put her at ease and tell her they probably CAME in dirty clothes and it had nothing to do with her. I can tell she's not buying it.

We get to car. I look at dh and tell him I am not.in.the.mood.

He hands me the car keys. I go home and sulk like a baby while they go to SIL's house.

Part of me feels like a jerk for bailing. But part of me KNOWS I would have just made everyone around me uncomfortable. I'm not good at covering up my emotions...and I was just *so* embarrassed and frustrated and upset. Add the car stress to that and I'm a blubbering mess.

And that, my friends, is what I did during my SPRING BREAK.

Grrrr...

One Two CHA CHA CHA....

Had SO much fun at CHA with Helen and Lori and Renee...Renee practically gave me an asthma attack from her "Magic" story....if you know Ms. Coffey you MUST ask her about it.

LOVED seeing Wendy and Robyn, who most graciously allowed me to do a make and take at the Paper House Productions booth. I also did a darling one with Teri (whom I REALLY wanted to spend more time with :( ) at the Art Declassified Booth.

Got to have lunch with Kelly and Kristy...Kelly is the cutest thing and just so sweet. Kristy looks SO cute with her hair long and curly...I'm jealous!

And a shout out to Deb at Pinecone Press who saved me a flip book and the awesome teacher there (forgot her name) who graciously helped me put it together after they had shut down their booth.

Oh...and a big HIGH FIVE to the cute gals at Glitz...it was SO fun seeing them in their different matching outfits and wishing I had a bod that would look cute in matching stuff instead of really, really desperate. :D
(I don't usually do ANY make and takes....so it was a real treat to do a few this show!)

I took my camera...photographed my layouts and the booth and DID NOT take pictures of these wonderful gals! I am a HUGE LOOSAH. :(

Here's some layouts from CHA, enjoy!

The Wonders of Photoshop: AKA Plastic Surgery for the Poor and Uninclined

Before
After


Ahhh Photoshop. How I love thee! What other wonder can magically make my love handles disappear and raise my bustline off of my knees with no need for anesthesia?

If you too have to make a family album and don't want your stomach rolls and old-lady boobs preserved for generations, the clone tool is your friend.

For the stomach rolls: select a lighter spot (preferably on the seemingly flatter part of the abdomen), alt-click and clone over the shadows of the love handles. Presto! A much flatter (albeit still slightly rotund) stomach.

For the 5-minute boob picker upper: use the selection tool (rectangular marquee works) to select those saggy, old lady mammaries. Copy and paste. Move copy of breasts to higher, perkier position. Using a spot on your new, flatter tummy, clone over the old boobs until they vanish into oblivion. Voila! No longer will your great, great grandchildren envision you as a female version of the Michelin Man! No longer is your poor bust support preserved for generations!

No need to thank me. Cash or check works just fine.

(I kid...I kid.)

THIS made me laugh.

Disclaimer: NO, this isn't my way of announcing anything. This baby factory is closed for the duration.

But I AM wondering what it says about my sense of humor that this had me rolling on the floor.

Some things I've learned...'bout scrappin.

So...I work part time at an LSS. LOVE IT. Love the paper. Love the ribbons. Love opening all the boxes and seeing what's new. Love my boss...nice lady who makes me feel needed.

Anyway...she got hired to do an entire scrapbook for a lady for Christmas who wants to give it as a gift to her son. I guess she did the same thing last year for a different son.

Lady doesn't want the album to be "pimped out." Just wants it simple and nice. (And, since it's for a 20 year old male, NOT froofy.)

Lady provides a STACK of 4x6 photos. Not even GOOD photos. Red eyes in a lot of them. Many out of focus. Some just random.

Anyway, boss asks me to help. (Our store does a HUGE amount of printing Christmas cards and wedding invites, so she was swamped.)

How hard can it be, right? Lady's not picky...not a scrapper. Should be able to just "slam" it out, right?

Oh. My. Heck.

Scrapping your average 4x6 photos is HARD.

Really, REALLY hard.

I am SO used to seeing (and using) nice, cropped photos that are sized for the layout design that I think I probably burned a few circuits trying to make my asthetics and the project parameters copacetic.

The number of photos per layout varied. Most groupings needed to be stretched out (or crammed into) a 2 page 12x12 spread. EVERY layout was a multiple photo layout. ALL the photos were 4x6. And there was NO journaling, NO outside information to work with. Occasionally I could use a title if one was included with the photo set.

The pages were plaaaaiiin. No flowers, very little ribbon and only a smattering of rubons. Most chipboard was used for titles...and hand die cut by little 'ol me...not premade.

The result was very "old-school."

Not that there's anything wrong with that....but I hadn't realized how spoiled I had become....with all my photo editing and cute trendy product. Without all that the result was....

Ugh.

Ugh for me, anyway. Not my style. Not fulfilling for me in a creative sense. And VERY restrictive.

But it is how the vast majority of people out there scrap.

4 x 6 photos. Lots per page. Grouped by events. Minimum embellishment.

And it. is. HARD.

Who'da thunk?

Some Thoughts on Service...

So...I do the Black Friday thing. It's like a tradition now. Even though I didn't go with a specific agenda this year, I still managed to spend waaaayyyy too much money.

Now, we all know that Black Friday is not for the weak of heart. Or of toes. (Mine were smooshed more often than I can count.) But STILL, it would be nice if the retailers on whom we drop all of our hard earned cash on would try to make the experience as pleasant as possible.

A girl can dream, right?

Let me tell ya a little story....

DH and I go to Circuit City and manage to find something on my daughter's list. We find what appears to be a short line...only to discover that it's short because it also happens to be the desk where they send everyone with a question. The poor, over-tired, over-worked cashiers are not only dealing with people grumpy because the 15 computers that they stocked for 299 were sold hours ago, they're also dealing with people grumpy because the register line is barely moving BECAUSE of all the grumpy people who thought they could score a screamin' deal without freezing their buns off.

Anyway, two people ahead of us is a man who appears to be either from India or Pakistan who speaks with an accent in a very soft voice. Apparently he has just purchased a computer. He gets ready to leave...and decides he wants a printer (one of the specials that day is that you can get a printer that is free (*after rebate) if you purchase a certain computer.)

Well, he proceeds to tell this to the cashier, who has already moved onto another customer. The cashier, obviously overtired and looking forward to working another 12 hours that day (true story!) seems to forget all manners and says "WHAT? WHAT?" to the overly quiet customer. (I commented on this to my DH...joking that maybe the cashier had been raised in a barn...only to discover a little later that we had personal knowledge that this was not the case.)

Anyway, the man finally communicates to the cashier that he wants the printer. The cashier grabs a Lexmark printer and rings it into the computer.

"No," says the customer, "I want the HP one."

Insert *heavy sigh* here.

Cashier grabs HP printer, rings it into the register, and tells customer that it is 89 dollars.

"Oh, no," says the customer, "give me the Lexmark printer."

Cashier trys, and fails, not to roll his eyes.

Cashier takes Lexmark printer, rings it in and tells customer that it is also 80-ish dollars.

"It is free after rebate?" asks customer.

"Yep." replies cashier.

"Is there a rebate with the HP printer?"

"I dunno," replies cashier. He turns to co-worker and asks about rebate. Co-worker says, "Not sure. Sometimes the HP ones have a $50 dollar rebate, but I don't know."

Cashier turns to customer and says, "Yeah, it has a 50 dollar rebate."

(I turn to look at DH, because that's not how I heard it from the co-worker.)

"Ok, give me the HP printer," says customer.

Cashier rings in printer, customer pays for the printer. Cashier stands, staring at the reciept printer for a minute and finally says...."It's not printing a rebate. I guess it doesn't have one."

"Well then," says customer, "I don't want this one. I want the Lexmark one."

"Sorry," says the cashier, "but we're not doing returns today. You'll have to come back tomorrow."

**************************************

Now if it had been ME, I would have pitched a fit to put Whitney Houston to shame. This customer, however, after a brief protest, left with his unwanted merchandise.

I noticed that the cashier failed to mention their 15% restocking fee.....

As we were paying for our merchandise, the cashier looked at my dh's ID and said, "I think I know you!" Turns out cashier is dh's cousin that grew up out of state.

In Washington, as it turns out, and not in a barn. ;)

Now, I KNOW that there are plenty of dishonest people out there, which is why it is harder and harder to return or exchange merchandise.

And I KNOW that it was very, very busy at Circuit City on Black Friday, which is probably why they didn't want cashiers tied up with returns.

But considering the circumstances, it seems an exception should have been made. It seems that not only is the customer no longer "right," but that they are an entity to be tolerated and whipped into submission to a plethora of rules and regulations.

Sorta takes the fun out of it all.

However, it would probably take a disaster of mythic proportions to stop me from shopping all together.

Speaking of drama....

Aforementioned teenage daughter is going to give me an ulcer.

Daughter is 14. Pretty. Attracts boys like bees to honey. (And, believe it or not, that's not even my main worry.)

Daughter is creative. Her English teachers rave about her writing ability. She was one of 2 students in her middle school last year to score full marks on a nationally graded essay. She's one of a handful of students in the entire high school (and the only freshman) to be ranked "fluent" in writing. Daugther also loves to draw and is especially good with manga. She is also the darling of her art class. The other kids call her Anime.

Daughter is SMART. Was in the gifted program. Scores in the top ten percent nationally on all standardized tests. (The complete battery. Not just one or two sections.)

Daughter just got a 2.7 on her first offical high school report card.

I do NOT know what to do with this child.

She is bright, caring, SO good with her younger siblings. She is sweet and stays out of trouble.

And she is the laziest little !@#$ when it comes to getting her homework done.

We had this problem in middle school, too. It seems that, no matter how much I try to impress upon her that it is HER future she's affecting, she doesn't seem to grasp the concept.

She wants to be a graphic designer when she grows up. And she could do it too.

But at the rate she's going, she'll also have to do it with thousands of dollars in student loans.

And that just sucks.

Drama Drama Drama

No, this thread isn't about my teenage daughter.

Though it could be.

She is quite dramatic.

No, THIS thread is all about the drama in the scrapbook "industry."

Typing the word "industry" makes me cringe a little. It makes Scrapbooking sound like Microsoft.

Or something.

Anyway...there has been MUCH drama abounding lately.

To sum up:

1) It is extremely stupid to hold a "contest" (and I'm using this word lightly) and not check your entries for compliance to your own contest rules. Creating Keepsakes, (if you're listening, which I doubt, because I have a very firm mental picture of y'all with your fingers in your ears and your eyes squinshed shut chanting "I can't heeeeaaarrr you!"), you can't post contest rules, clearly DETAIL those rules in a public forum, and then chose to ignore them when it suits your purpose. Much drama will ensue. (See? Drama. The running theme here.)

2) It is impossible to take a picture of yourself on a river run from the shore while being buffetted down rapids going at a hearty clip. Especially if both hands are on your oar. Especially if it's in the exact same spot that the professional hired photographer takes her pictures. Especially if the mad photoshop skills it would take to blend a series of blurry, imperfect photographs aren't sufficient to erase a few pounds and clone out a moustache. Positing such an implausible scenario will cause much detective work and endless drama. And if the drama gets to be too much, don't storm out in a blaze of glory claiming that you were misconstrued. It won't work. It will just cause MORE drama.

3) It is a bad idea to manage a message board and violate your own rules. Especially if your board has a "glitch" that allows people to see your potty mouth. Especially if it also allows people to read you possibly handing out personal member information. There will be ...you guessed it...drama. People will dramatically email your boss. Your boss will have to post on your board trying to appease the dramatic and angered masses. And I'm guessing he'll be none to pleased about it.

This is the scrapbooking "industry." It is NOT "scrapbooking." When did scrapbooking start becoming "These are the Days of our Acid-Free Lives?"

Sigh. I remember when we cut out photo mats with fancy sissors, sneezed some stickers around them and called it a day. HOF was the shirtless dude on Baywatch and smack was something you did with your lips after you ate something tasty.

Those were the days.

Confessions of a Reformed Scrap Snob.

A few weeks ago, there was a Scrap Expo in town. Anyone who knows me KNOWS that I'll be there unless prevented from going by a major natural disaster. And we never have hurricanes in Utah....

Well, most people who know me know I also hate going places alone. It's mostly because I hate driving, period. I always try to get someone to go with me so I don't have to drive.

Well, on this particular occasion I invited my sister. Now my sister has scrapbooked on occasion, but has never developed my enthusiasm (read "obssession") for the hobby and usually declines to scrap with me.

Recently said sister went on a cruise. And has lots of cool, cruise photos. And has decided she would like them scrapbooked. So she agreed to go (and drive) on the condition I would work on her album with her.

So we go to the expo. I bring my travel stash but don't have anything that I think would go with her photos. So we start wandering the booths looking for things we could use. Right away she finds some fish stickers and thinks they would work on one of the ocean pages.

"Uh," I say, "I don't really use stickers. Like that. With animals. Maybe letter stickers. But not really fish ones."

"Oh!" says sister. "Stickers aren't cool anymore?"

"Ummm....not really. Well, I mean, I don't use them, but if you want to, you can. I mean, it is your album."

"Noooo," says sister. "I want it to be cute."

So we look around some more and score some awesome Scenic Route chipboard letters for 2 dollars each. While I'm standing in line to buy more MME buttons than one person could ever use, sister goes and looks at the next booth.

And comes back with a laser-cut Cancun title with a silver dolphin on it.

"Look!" she says. "I thought this would be good for the Cancun page."

"Uh, OK." I say. "I don't really use stuff like that, but we could make it work."

"Oh," says sister. "Well, maybe I'll give it to Stephanie. She can use it on her album."

Finally we get settled and sister watches while I do this semi-artsy page for her trip to Hell. (It's a place. Really. Some guy was exploring it and said Oh HELL! and the name stuck.) Sister seems to like that page ok. Then I start working on her Margaritaville photos and pull out my sacred stash of Foofala tropical colored paper and my Queen and Co felt trim. I add some of my newly acquired buttons for good measure and am really liking the way it's turning out.

Sister seems underwhelmed. She's not happy about a"hole" in my design. And about the fact that by this point we've spent about $130 and have only 2 layouts to show for it.

Fast forward two weeks later. Sister tells me she's going to Roberts to get some more paper for her album for an upcoming crop. "Maybe I can find some life-preserver paper and we can put Stephanie's and my photos in the holes. I'm going to look for some beach paper and some other stuff I can use too." Sister seems excited to get her album going.

And all I'm thinking is..."Life preserver paper???? How am I going to make THAT cute?"

And it hits me. I am a scrapbook snob. And I don't think I like it.

Who am I to look down my nose at the things my sister wants to include in her album? Why does it matter to ME what things she wants to put on HER page?

When did it become SO important that the pages I create are "trendy" and use the latest product? Why do I worry if my layouts are "magazine worthy?" I don't even submit! Why does the thought of having to use themed paper send cold shivers down my spine?

Now, I'm not going to change the way I scrap, because I have my own style and I enjoy my pages. But I AM going to be more aware of how my attitudes might affect others with different likes and dislikes than mine. I AM going to leave MY own preferences at the door and help my sister create an album that SHE enjoys. And I AM going to appreciate other people's creations for what they are: an expression of themselves.

I WILL scrap with the life-preserver paper. And I'm gonna LIKE it! :D

Kids.

Ok...I'd like to share with you some little tidbits of wisdom I have gleaned from my children and from the children I teach. Pay close attention....there will be a test.

My dd while watching a nursing mother: "My mom has some of those, but she doesn't use them any more!"

A preschooler watching me do jumping jacks: "My mom says that I won't get big boobs until I'm OLDER!"

A preschooler after being told about the nativity: "I already know that! We have the movie."

A little guy digging in the sand near me today: "I can't tell you what I'm doing...it's a LOOONG story. *pause* I'm making nothing."

A little guy after I had eaten some onions: "Miss Meridith, WHAT did you HAVE for LUNCH?"

My dd after I slipped on the stairs and told her I lost my balance: "That's ok, mommy, I'll help you find it."

Me at the doctor's office yesterday with my sons: "K, guys, they're going to check your peepers." DS (looking horrified) "MOM! Don't say that." Me (confused) *pause* *think* "Your EYES, Isaac, your EYES."

Kids crack me up. I never know what's going to come out of their mouths.

Maybe I identify with them. :D

I am a consumer...hear me roar!

I've been thinking about marketing.

Specifically, marketing to the scrapbooking consumer.

More specifically, the role of the scrapbook celebrity in marketing to the scrapbooking consumer.

The "scrap celeb" is a bizarre phenomenom to the world of scrapbooking. When I tole painted, I wasn't innundated with "tole celebs..." (well, there IS Donna Dewberry, but never once did I see her at a craft store signing her books while a gaggle of frantic women jocky for best photo position.) And to be honest, Donna probably wouldn't have made a good scrap celeb, anyway. First of all, she's not "hip." She doesn't use words like "uber" or "rawks." She doesn't call tole painting "life art" and she doesn't pretend that tole painting is going to revolutionize your life.

Second, she's, well, not 20. She doesn't have a short, spiky hairstyle or a nose ring. She may not even know how to clone out a blemish in Photoshop to save her life.

Scrapbooking, as a industry, is just...well, wierd. All of a sudden, it should matter WHO does a company's layout just as much as how well it is done. Design teams are filled with "names" (aka people who have won a major contest at some point...or who are very good at calling attention to themselves)..or at the very least, good looking people who at least LOOK good on your message board.

Now I, personally, have never bought a product because Lisa Bearnson used it...or Heidi Swapp made it, or Ali Edwards blogged about it. I HAVE bought products I've heard about online...but only because I thought they'd be something I could use.

I imagine MOST scrappers are the same way. We buy what we like. It doesn't matter if the layout in the ad was created by Debbie Designer or Quasimodo...as long as it's a good layout. My decision to buy the product is more influenced by seeing designs that inspire me to try the product than by who created the designs.

Something happened recently that made me think that the industry, at least, thinks that we DO care if the design teams are populated with young, attractive people who give good face. And it broke my heart...because a few people that I really like were caught in the crossfire.

If this trend continues...if companies start to market people more than their products, well, I'm not interested. I'm not scrapping pictures of your design team, I'm scrapping pictures of my family. I don't CARE who designs your products or your samples, as long as they are GOOD products or samples.

I don't want to feel manipulated, condescended to or marketed to. I want to feel respected. I want companies to realize that my money (and that of others like me) is what keeps them afloat. I want them to treat me as a capable, thinking adult who doesn't need to be sold friends. I'm perfectly capable of deciding whether or not I like a product or service without some perky, preppy little person pimping it out in their blogs or posts.

There's been speculation that a well known scrapbooker who has disappeared from the industry may have not continued to get work because she didn't fit that perky, young, skinny, hip mold.

If that's indeed true, I'm having none of it. I'm a one-woman boycott of companies that decide your worth as a professional scrapbooker is based more on your marketability than your ability. It's stupid and it makes no sense. When did scrapbooking become SO much about someone else's story? I *thought* it was about my story and the stories of those I choose to scrap about...not about the person who designed my product or who gave me an idea how to use it.

Probably a lot of this rant makes no sense without its proper context, which, unfortunately, I'm not at liberty to share. Just know that decisions are being made on criteria that have nothing to do with talent, dedication, or loyalty.

With that, I'm off to bed. Whether or not it makes sense to you, I, at least, feel a little better.

It's just like a trainwreck...

You know you shouldn't watch, but you just can't help yourself.

I watched Brittney Spears' VMA performance.

From the first stumble before the music started to the half executed dance moves and the aimless wandering around the stage, you just knew that not only was Brittney NOT back to form, she was also NOT better.

Which got my thinking about young Hollywood. The younger eschelon of stars seem to be one hapless trainwreck after another. All these famous teens and twenty-somethings popping pills faster than they can pop out of rehab.

Where are the parents?

These parents who probably watched with glee and a billion dollar sparkle in their eyes are now wringing their hands and wondering how their golden gooses turned out to be jail birds. Where was Dina Lohan when a 17 year old Lindsay was repeatedly photographed partying in bars? Where was Brittney's mom when Britt decided to marry a back-up dancer who left his pregnant girlfriend in the lurch? And why can't Hayden Panetierre's (sp) mother strap a leash on her born to be wild daughter before the same disasters happen to her?

I think we need a celebrity edition of Super Nanny. I can imagine Nanny Jo telling Dina: "Now Mum, you've got to be firm with Lindsay. Take away the Jack Daniels. If she tries to take it again, put her in the naughty corner and make her STAY there!"

I'd love to be there when Nanny Jo takes Lindsay's asbsentee, ex-con father and makes him cry on television because she made him feel like a bad parent.

In the meantime...well, we'll all continue to watch in fascination...wondering how those children born with such talent and good fortune can self-destruct on a world-wide stage.

And we'll pray to God we're smart enough not to let our own children do the same thing.

Moooooore Layouts! :D

Lots 'O Layouts

Some stuff I've done lately. :D